Hi! If you are one of the few people that has read my blog, this post is for you! Today I am going to write a bit about myself, which is kind of scary. Actually, I am scared to death. I am not the kind of person that loves talking about herself. In fact, I find it really difficult and try to avoid it. But I will make an effort in order to explain why I decided to start blogging and create The Hogsmeade.
Thinking about blogging
For the last year and a half, two years, I have felt like I was missing something. And to me that is one of the scariest things that could happen. Why? Because I always know what I want. I just do. I knew what I wanted to study at university ever since I was 4 years old. Some kids want to be princessess or knights and then they change over 30 different professions. I have always wanted to study business. So I went and graduated in International Business. I wanted to visit New York before university. I worked really hard to spend 1 month there the summer before uni started. And the list can go on and on forever. Some things may take longer than other, but I know want I want and I work for it.
After I finished my studies, I moved back home and started working. It was just a temporary job until I found something better. 6 months later, I started working at my actual job. I work as a Corporate Finance Analyst. It is the job that I always wanted. But a few months later, I started feeling like something was missing. At first I didn’t know what was that feeling. I though it was probably the new job, because I didn’t have a ton of work and I was bored quite often. But weeks went by and I kept feeling the same. At that time, I dicided to join the gym and start swimming. That way, I had something to do on the afternoons and it was also really good for my back. The gym thing, didn’t fit with my schedule, so I had to quit after one month.
Getting to know me
The next month, I decided to pursue something I had always wanted. I bough myself a reflex camera and started taking photos. That was how I started getting myself into photography. But it wasn’t enough. I kept feeling the same. But I didn’t quite understood what was it that I was feeling. It was really frustating at times and I started feeling anxious just for the unkown. That was when I decided to join a photography club and started goint to pilates. Maybe I was just bored. I needed to keep busy. I had pilates twice a week and my weekends were full of photography activities. That’s when I realised that was not the problem. At one point I was so stressed that I just collapsed at work. I just fainted. I was unconscious for a few seconds, but it was long enough to scare me.
The power of reflecting
As a consequence of that incident, I started reflecting on my life. It is one of those things that I have heard many people talk about, but I have never actually reflected about myself. I started thinking about life, where I was at, expectations, reality, goals accomplished and happiness, among other things. The time I spent reflecting had a better outcome than I expected, because I realized I didn’t know myself as I though I did. And that is a really good thing, because we all think we know ourself because its us, you know what I mean? Why is it good, you may ask? Well, I discovered that I didn’t know myself as well as I though I did. That was one of the problems that led to my anxiety. If you know the problem, you can try to fix it.
Reflecting has given me the chance to focus on me. This sounds like something simple and basic, but we don’t do it as much as we should. Focusing on me has allowed me to discover new things. For some time, I can not say I was unhappy, but I was not happy either. That state of being neither happy or unhappy was something that I noticed once I started reflecting. And I can already say, that I may not be where I want to be, but I am at a happy place. I am happy with myself.
My blogging inspiration
During this time, I started following some youtube family vlogs. I just, loved the natural, raw emotions I saw. There was one youtube channel in particular that I have found relatable and conforting. And this is one of the weirdest things, because we are not at the same life stage, we do not have similar lifestyles, we are from different countries, but still, I felt connected to them. The channel is This is how we Bingham. For a few months, I started thinking about it and I finally decided to start blogging. But why? Well, I am not exactly sure. As I told you before I have felt like something was missing for some time now, and I needed a way to express it. I still don’t know what it is but I am eager to find out.
TIHWB inspired me to share my story. Maybe I find someone going through the same and we can help eachother, maybe not. I may finaly discover what it is that I’m missing, maybe not. The blog for me is an outlet of selfexpression. This is why I started blogging in my mid-twenties. I want to be able to look back in one year and see the changes I made in my life.
I would love to hear your advice on this topic. Have you ever felt the same?
Until next time!! xoxo